


breathe (it's good to be home)

by rarmaster



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Aqua has a giant family, Gen, and also boy who loves Shitty Coping After I Went Thru Hell because i do, post-kh3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 08:17:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9482489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rarmaster/pseuds/rarmaster
Summary: After the whole mess with Xehanort has wrapped up, Aqua decides it's finally time to return home and tell her family where she's been for the past 10 years.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Cheat sheet for Aqua's family [here](http://rarmaster.tumblr.com/post/168167599175/heya-while-the-big-masterpost-is-still). There will be more chapters / we'll see more of the rest of her family eventually.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- - - ( _Mixed feelings sit in his chest. She was always the baby, but now she’s so much younger, and she looks like she’s been through hell._ )

Aqua took a deep breath, a distant, uneasy feeling thrumming in her chest. She stood on a hill overlooking the village she’d grown up in as a child, the village most of her family still lived in (she presumed, though it _had_ been… a very long time). It was strange, standing here after so long. And it was a little nerve-wracking. Her hands trembled, though she did not feel it, and that empty, anxious feeling still beat inside her. To see her parents, her siblings, after so long….

She put off thinking about it, and about going down there, for just a moment, taking in the familiar shape of the horizon that spread out before her. The village, nestled in the surrounding hills, looked the same as it always had.

Garden of Hope was the name of her world. It sat on the far reaches of space, rarely touched by anyone else. There were a couple of other villages, elsewhere on the world, as well as a city that Aqua had only been to once. Her oldest sister lived there. And some of her cousins, probably. Aunt Robin—her favorite aunt, not that she’d let the others know—lived in the next closest village. If Aqua turned and looked behind her, from this position on this hill, she could probably point it out easily. It was just past the forest, a day’s journey. As it was, without turning, she could see the lake glistening in the distance, to her right…

But she wasn’t here to admire the scenery. And she wasn’t here to visit Aunt Robin—not yet, anyway. First she had to see her parents, and whatever siblings still lived in the village. She wondered if any still did, after all this time. A few of them had already moved out, before her Mark of Mastery exam, before…

Shaking her head to rid it of that thought, Aqua took another deep breath to steel herself. Then she headed down the hill. It was a ten minute walk from here to her house. Five minutes, if she ran, if she remembered correctly.

She’d lived in this world until she was 7—or was it 8?—That was when she met Eraqus. He’d never told her the true reasons for his visit, though Aqua suspected he’d been looking for her. Or, if not her specifically, then for an apprentice. After that she’d moved to the Land of Departure. She’d visited her family often, though, and her siblings had visited her every now and then, too. Aqua smiled a little at a memory—not of her siblings, but of Aunt Robin insisting to stay for a week, unannounced and much to Eraqus’s dismay.

That had been…... a very long time ago.

Aqua ducked into the first alley, wanting to take a backroad home. She wished she could take a faster route, but at least half of this village was populated by extended family, and she _really_ wanted to see her parents before anyone else. Even taking the backroads was risky.

She wondered if her parents even still lived in the same house. Nervousness roiled hard in her stomach. It had been so long… There were so many things she’d have to explain…

Aqua tried to put that out of her mind, just for now. She walked a little quicker. Tugged at the sweater she wore—though it brought a lot of unfortunate thoughts bubbling into her head, too. She’d never been a huge fan of sweaters, or any clothes that clung too tightly to her arms. But a sweater was the only thing that covered the scars that patterned her skin, trophies from the countless years she’d spent fighting Heartless. She didn’t mind them, much (she’d had plenty time to get used to them), she just… She had enough questions she had to answer, as it was.

The scent of baking bread filled her nostrils, and Aqua paused for just a second. Warm memories and jumbled feelings bounced around inside her. She’d missed the smell of her father’s baking dearly. She stood across the street from the bakery for a few moments, fondness tugging in her chest. If this was a normal day, she’d walk around the side of it to get to her house, which stood behind the bakery. But today was not a normal day.

Aqua turned to the right instead, seeing as she had to go a little out of her way to get home. If she walked past the bakery, someone would see her for sure.

She’d just turned down an alley when she heard a voice calling her name.

“Aqua…? _Aqua_!”

She turned to see one of her brothers running towards her. She squinted, trying to recognize him. _Kyle?_ her brain supplied for her, but she wasn’t so sure. It looked a little like Kyle, and nothing like Kyle at the same time. And besides, if it _was_ Kyle, he’d be older than that, now.

“It is you, it is you!!” her brother shouted, and he swept her into a hug, picking her up off the ground and spinning her in a circle. He was laughing, and bewildered, Aqua laughed too.

“Kyle?” she asked, when he set her down. She was sure that wasn’t right, but she had to check.

“Wh-” He blinked at her, still holding her at arms-length. “ _Eric,_ ” he said.

“ _OH!_ ” That made a lot more sense. The ages were about right, too, for the mix-up. Eric now must have been around the age Kyle used to be, before she… Embarrassment filled Aqua. Eric had been the most obvious guess, in hindsight. “I’m so sorry, Eric,” she said. “It’s just, it’s been so long—”

“No no, it’s okay, it’s okay,” he assured her quickly, and he wrapped her in another hug.

Aqua hugged him back firmly, matching his joyous laughter note for note. This wasn’t what she had planned, but it was good to see him.

“I can’t believe you’re here?” Eric said, when he let go of her again. He seemed hesitant to, like he was afraid she’d vanished if he stopped touching her. Having had similar worries herself, Aqua couldn’t blame him. “We thought you were- but— _but here you are._ ” He raked a hand through his hair, staring at her in amazement. “How’ve you been? _Where_ ’ve you been?”

Aqua’s smile fell a few inches.

“Um…”

Eric took a step closer to her, squinting like he’d just realized…

“You haven’t aged,” he whispered.

…that. Like he’d just realized that.

“It’s, a long story,” Aqua told him. She’d tell him everything—more than she might tell anyone else, except Luci, or their mother—but standing in an alley wasn’t exactly the best place for the conversation.

He must’ve realized, now, that she wasn’t smiling either.

“Not a happy one, I guess?” he ventured.

Aqua shook her head.

Eric studied her a moment, then cracked a grin. “Well, I can’t imagine a happy reason for it that _doesn’t_ involve ‘I found the secret to eternal youth!’ and… you never seemed like that kind of gal anyway, Aqua.”

Aqua laughed lightly, bringing a hand to her mouth. Eric grinned wider.

“Anyway, where were you heading?” he asked. “Home?”

“Yes, I was.”

Aqua was grateful he didn’t ask why she’d been in this alley instead of walking past the bakery, like usual. All he did was smile and nod in the direction of home.

“Come on, I’ll walk you there. Mom’s gonna be so happy to see you.”

“Y- yeah,” Aqua agreed. She tried to focus on the joy, on the weight she’d be taking off her mother’s chest, and not on the pain being gone ten years had caused everyone. It was hard, though. Uneasiness bubbled in her throat.

“Oh, shoot,” Eric said, suddenly.

“Mm?”

Eric looked distraught a moment, before he sighed.

“I should probably tell Jackson I’ll be out for a while,” he said. “I wasn’t even supposed to be out this long…”

Aqua squinted at him. “Jackson?”

“Oh!” Eric’s cheeks turned a little pink. “He’s, uh… My husband.”

Joy and pain both stirred inside Aqua’s chest. “You got _married_ ,” she gasped. It was a wonderful thing, really, and she was so happy for him. But she hadn’t been here. She’d never gotten to meet her brother’s boyfriend-slash-future-husband. She hadn’t gotten to see him fall in love.

Eric laughed, scratching at the back of his head. “Yeah, I did,” he said, with the air of someone who still couldn’t quite believe it. He was smiling broadly.

“Is he nice?” Aqua asked, eagerly stepping towards her brother.

Eric nodded. “Yeah, he’s- He’s _wonderful_.”

They stood there a moment, Eric grinning like a dope, Aqua trying not to let the weight of how much she’d missed sit too heavily on her shoulders. Then Eric shook his head to clear it, and looked at Aqua.

“Oh, though- if you’d rather head home now, I guess I could always run and tell him later—”

“No, no, I want to meet him,” Aqua said, quickly. She might as well meet him now, especially if it was important to Eric that Jackson knew where he was.

“Okay!” Eric beamed at her, though he seemed to hesitate before he started moving. “My house is a little out of the way, but um, if you want to meet him! Come on.”

Aqua followed Eric through the crowd, trying to stick close. This wasn’t what she’d planned, but… that was okay. Her mother, and anyone else who was currently home—they could wait a little longer.

Just a little longer…

“Aqua. Aqua!” Eric sounded distressed.

Aqua blinked.

Eric was holding her by the arm, and before she’d fully processed anything, she was shoving him off. He’d pulled her aside…? When did they get to this portion of the village? Emptiness flooded Aqua’s chest—a vague, disappointed feeling. Disappointed in herself, more than anything else.

She’d done it again.

At least it was only a minute or so, this time, but…

“You still with me?” Eric asked. There was a smile on his lips, and in his tone, but his eyes were creased with worry. He reached out for her again, then seemed to think better of it. That hurt, just a bit.

Aqua felt a heat rise in her cheeks, though the emotion didn’t seem to sit in her chest quite properly. “Yes,” she said. “Sorry.” There was nothing she could do but apologize for it.

Eric didn’t look convinced.

“You okay…?” he asked, slowly, studying her.

“Yeah.”

Eric kept studying her, and Aqua sighed. It was clear he wanted some kind of explanation, but… She didn’t have one. Not for why she did this, in general. Not for why it had happened now, in particular. But Eric wanted an explanation.

So.

“It’s just… There’s a lot of people,” Aqua said. It wasn’t really true, but it was the best she could come up with. (She’d never been the greatest liar.) “It’s… a little overwhelming? But I’m fine, really.”

Eric’s eyes narrowed. Had he even bought it? Maybe it was just concern.

“Sorry,” he said, finally. “It’s not much further. Here, just- just take my hand.” He held a hand out to her. “I’ll lead you there, so… do whatever it is you have to do to not get overwhelmed, okay?”

Aqua hesitated, wondering if maybe she should tell him the truth. She took his hand, though. It was easier. Less embarrassing. And…

It was easy, too, to let her mind go blank. To let her thoughts just stop, to let the world pass by around her without her really noticing any of it. She wondered, often, when this had started. She’d noticed herself doing it _after_ getting out of the Realm of Darkness, but what’s to say it hadn’t started there, and she’d just never realized? What better way to deal with the crippling mess of anxious thoughts, or the worries about fighting Heartless than to just… not. Not think about those things. Not think about anything. To just let her body run on autopilot, while she enjoyed silence in her head for once…

She snapped back into reality, and realized with a jolt that they were no longer in town. They were on the outskirts, halfway up one of the hills surrounding it.

“Eric,” she began, digging in her heels. Why had he brought her here? What was he up to? What happened to meeting Jackson?

Eric let go of her hand continued up the hill a few paces. He sat down in the grass, knees folded casually to his chest, elbows resting on them.

“Tell me what happened, Aqua,” he said.

Aqua blinked at him.

“I…”

She wanted to tell him, she did, but all her words had died in her mouth. Why now? Why here? What had changed Eric’s mind, what had set him so firmly on this? The thought that it had been something that happened in the minutes she couldn’t remember burned her. How many times would this—

“Aqua, please,” Eric pressed. “Where have you been?”

There was a pang in her chest, with those words, as she stared. Because now she was realizing just how _much_ he’d aged. Never mind the age in his face, in his body. The age in his _eyes._ A mix of concern, of knowledge—a look she’d only seen from her father, from Eraqus.

He was close to fifteen years older than her now, instead of just barely two.

Aqua licked her lips.

“Eric, I—”

“It’s been ten years, but I still know when something’s buggin’ you, Aqua,” Eric said, a little exasperated, a little more like the brother she knew. “And you don’t- you don’t just _zone out_ for ten minutes while walking through town. That’s not _normal!_ It took me three tries to get your attention, Aqua—”

“ _I’m sorry,_ ” she said firmly. There was nothing else she could do. She hated it as much as he did, as much as everyone else did, but she couldn’t make herself stop.

“Aqua. _Please._ ”

Aqua set her jaw. She took a deep breath. She went and sat down in the grass beside him.

“It’s just—” she said.

And she told him everything. About the exam. About Xehanort. About how everything had gone wrong. She told him how Eraqus had died, though not Terra’s hand in it. (It wasn’t Terra’s fault.) She told him about how Ven had lost his heart—though he was okay now. She told him about Terra, and Xehanort. Terra was okay, too, she assured him. He and Ven were both okay. And Xehanort was dead now, so there was that too, at least.

Somewhere in there the familiar emptiness, distance, filled her chest. She experienced it a lot, especially when thinking about this. The weight of all that happened was heavy on her shoulders, and the easiest thing to do was to just… slip out from under it. The action elicited this feeling, like she wasn’t quite in her body, but. It was easier.

(She wondered sometimes if the only reason she had survived the Dark Realm, plagued by nightmares, was because she learned how to stop feeling when it was too much. The darkness couldn’t touch you if you couldn’t feel the fear and despair it tried to put in your heart, if you couldn’t feel anything at all.)

All that was left, then, was to tell him about what she’d been through, where she’d been. And, she told him more about that than maybe she’d intended to. She told him about the Heartless, coming in never-ending hordes. About the way the darkness had twisted her memory sometimes, spat out visions of people she loved to torment her. About the exhaustion that never left her bones, about the loneliness she faced for a time that felt like an eternity stretched out before her…

Abruptly Aqua realized Eric was staring at her. And abruptly she realized how unsettling this must have been—a list of terrible things delivered in monotone. She snapped her mouth shut.

Aqua hugged her knees a little tighter to her chest, but otherwise she sat very still. And for a few moments, Eric didn’t say anything.

And then:

He enclosed her in a hug, arms wrapped around her and her folded knees both. He held her tightly, trembling. “Holy shit,” he breathed, and his voice cracked. She could feel the way his chest heaved with sobs, as he held onto her. “ _Holy_ shit…”

There was so much to say, and so much that couldn’t be put into words.

“I- I’m fine,” Aqua insisted, even though Eric tensed as she said it, pulling her closer.

She knew she should return the hug, but instead she pressed her hand into the grass beside her, curling her fingers into it. The blades—wet and fresh—squashed against her palm, and she savored the feeling, the reminder of life around her. She wasn’t wearing her gloves, so she was able to feel the full sensation of it on her skin. She hadn’t worn her gloves in a long time, just for this reason.

“I mean,” she said, as she swallowed. “I’m here now.”

Eric hesitated.

“I- yeah. You are.” He held her a little tighter, burying his face in her hair. “I’m so glad you are.”

Now Aqua wrapped her arms around him, as best as she could, and she squeezed him tight.

“Me too,” she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut. “Me too.”


End file.
